In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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