East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
