Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
