if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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