An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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