I think I died a long time ago.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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