Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
