we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
