I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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