it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
