im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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