Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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