Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she told me i tasted like america
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
