if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
