Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
