I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
