I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
