omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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