Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
