Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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