I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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