Are we in a gay sports bar?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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