i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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