Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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