I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
