I puked a lego.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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