I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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