next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
