I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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