So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
