Yo dont text me then not text me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
