what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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