worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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