Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
