You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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