i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
