I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
