I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
