Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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