You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
