watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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