he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
