The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
