super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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