i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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