I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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