Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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