Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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