If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
