If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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